Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
