I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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