just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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