Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
