I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize