i don't like sucking hair
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is it penis luge time yet?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
