so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
