Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
handjob tips. give me some.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
