I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
