I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
