I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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