Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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