somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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