Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You are a genius and a whore.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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