Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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