After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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