My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
