help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
