I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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