Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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