Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
