You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize