i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
