ugly people sure do ruin things
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she peed on how many people?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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