sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
