i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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