I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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