So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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