i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
