just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
