I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
