it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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