I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
