she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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