hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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