so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
