you have to choose: penises or morals?
no you cant smoke seaweed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
