You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize