My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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