I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
