Don't you send me to vm
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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