I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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