she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
