no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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