There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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