just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My vagina just recognized that song.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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