Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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