Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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