??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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