Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
