i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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