nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
