OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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