real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize