so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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