I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you never un-have a 4some
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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