What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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