She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
