I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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