I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are two peas in an std pod
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
