At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
