it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize